In August 2010 i auctioned The United States of America on eBay.
Winning bid: US $16.50
Item description:
This relatively new item is in fair condition. Please be advised that this item is rather large and bulky.
This item is both charmingly simple and dauntingly co1nplex. It has frequently generated other items of varying utility, such as breakfast cereal, atomic weapons, and eBay. The buyer should beware that the inventiveness of this item is routinely offset by highly destructive, expansionist tendencies. It also consumes an excessive amount of resources.
Given to dramatic mood swings and reversals of fortune, this item has a flair for the sensational and tends to take a blunt approach. While this results in much initiative, showmanship and spectacle, this item generally fails to consider long-term consequences. The item can also exhibit fervent idealism, often taking this to unilateral extremes of hubris and impracticality.
While friendly and inviting, living in or with this item ain't easy. Its obsession with wealth creation promotes opportunism, unforgiving 'sink or swim' conditions, and shameful extremes of poverty and violence. The buyer should be advised that this item often becomes inflexibly Christian. It also has a tendency towards insularity and moralism, even at its own expense. This item has also been known to consistently inspire tolerance and open-mindedness.
Never count this item out.
It is inadvisable to mess with this item.
After spending a majority of his life with this valuable item, the seller has recently experienced something more sustainable. Himself a product of this item, the seller is now inclined to participate in the time-honored tradition of exchanging it for cash.
The buyer will receive a signed archival quality certificate of ownership, pictured above.
No returns.